I truly cried tonight while rocking Erin. I began thinking how my mother must have rocked me when I was a baby. Then obviously I thought about how a grown daughter shows affection. We do normal grown up mother/daughter things, but nothing like the physical intimacy of mother and young child. And I got really sad thinking that one day I will no longer be able to hold my children and rock them. I know we all know this deep down, but it really hit me tonight. I don't ever want them to grow up! I guess I will have to keep having babies til I can't anymore, then I will have to adopt them. How do people deal with their children growing up?
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9 years ago
5 comments:
I don't know exactly what you mean just yet, but I worry all the time about life passing so fast. When I spoke to mom about it, she said that's why it's important to follow the advice of Eckhart Tolle and live in each moment without worrying about the next. I have trouble with that, but maybe it gets easier with time.
"As you look at, listen to, touch, or help your child with this or that, you are alert, still, completely present, not wanting anything other than that moment as it is." I remember thinking of Leah and Erin when I read this part of Tolle's book. I have reread this several times applying it to many situations.
You may not hug your children as much when you get older - but each hug is so precious and so special. Besides - I now have five children instead of three - life does get better!
I get sad about this all the time. I often think I want to freeze time and keep my kids exactly as they are today forever.. but then I think of how much I would miss. I agree with you though.. I need to keep having babies for as long as I can because I can't imagine life without them.
Your post reminds me of the book titled, Love you Forever by Robert Munsch. I don't know how people deal with it. I know that I look at my parents differently now. I get so frustrated when people say to me, "Enjoy your boys now because when they get older, they don't have as much to do with their mother." But, my husband has a great relationship with his mom. I hope that the boys continue to stay close with me.
My kids are both past the "hold em, hug em, squeeze em" phase and while sometimes I can talk one of them into being cuddly not too much. I think its like a trade-off. You lose something but you gain new things - words used to express love they did not know previously, activities that are special just to the two of you, etc. Tori and I can go get our nails done or go out to lunch now...and its so fun, I would not trade it for the days when I could just hold her despite that I loved that too! Its just different but not bad. And my mom and dad are my friends now and someday down the road I know I will treasure that relationship with my children just as much as I treasured holding them close. Though I definitely agree with the live each moment statement...
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