Monday, November 17

Confession

I have a confession to make. I thumped my daughter this morning. We were on our way in to school from the car. Ian was asking Leah a question and she wouldn't answer him. He kept saying, "Leah? Leeee-aaaaah?" over and over. I was behind Leah and I thumped her on the head. Not even hard, just to get her attention.

And she lost it.

She started crying so hard you would think I backhanded her. Screaming crying. In the parking lot of their preschool. With all the other parents watching. And some teachers.

Everyone was asking her what was wrong and did she fall down, was she okay, etc. It was such drama. The worst part was I knew it was my fault. Even though she was crying a disproportionate amount to what I did, I still knew I caused it. I felt awful.

When we got to her classroom, her teacher swooped her up and cuddled her. I tried to explain what had happened, but they kept saying things like, "Mommy didn't mean to thump you." That made me feel even worse. I did mean to thump her, just not enough to hurt (and I don't think it did hurt, I think it was all drama). It wasn't as though I lost my temper and spanked her. I wasn't even mad at her. I was just trying to get her attention.

I took her back and got her all calmed down, but then she didn't want to stay at school. I had to promise her McDonald's for lunch and to watch a movie when she got home.

I feel like crap about it. Some parent I am.

6 comments:

Arielle said...

My personal thoughts are that you were totally in line here and that those teachers and parents should not have made you feel bad for this. Leah made a fuss much larger than needed for this. You shouldn't feel bad about this. She was being stubborn, and you got her attention. She reacted poorly, and she will have to learn. I don't know if she'll realize that getting all this attention leads to food and movies and start taking advantage of you, but I hope not. Sorry you had to go through this. Hugs

Mandi said...

I agree w/ Arielle, but i'm not a parent... You're an awesome parent, so don't let Leah and those teachers make you think otherwise!

Nikki said...

They learn to manipulate so early in life. There's nothing quite like the humiliation of looking like a bad parent (or feeling like one). Sorry you lived through that today! If only she understood how bad that made you feel. Oh well. Maybe in 25 years when she's a mom she'll finally understand. :)

One time we went to watch Jason's volleyball game when Elena was just a month old or so. Elena was in the stroller and Halle was in the fenced in volleyball court area with me. When it was time to go, Halle just took off to the parking lot. She never does anything like that and I was caught off guard. Of course, I'm yelling at her to come back and she's ignoring me.. and some guy made a comment about "I wonder who was the control in this relationship".. and I felt like crap. She actually made it into the parking lot before I got there.. thank goodness no one had started driving away yet. I felt like the world's worst parent, so I feel you!

Laurie said...

This is why we say stuff like, "Just wait til you have your own children! I hope they are just like you!"

Myrn said...

Sh-t happens. Kiiiiiddddsssss.They are on their own agenda. You are a great parent. The kids are not ready for life and they are in the learning manipulative mode and will push until they are broken down. Luke I am your father. Love Dad

Mandy said...

3 year olds are SMART. Very smart - they know those PreK teachers will scoop them up. Of course you meant to thump! She was probably deserving of it, but what I've learned? You just have to replay the situation in your mind and say, "what could I do different next time"? If you in your heart know you should have done something different (and I'm not so certain you should have!), then just replay it - teach yourself another way to react, and then do it next time. Don't beat yourself up. God gives us those little voices to rethink things. It's no different than when you raise your voice to a sassy three-year-old (hello, me!) - you just have to turn it around. That's my thoughts. Sorry so long! Can you tell this happens all the TIME to me??? :)