Crabby Mama's Mama's Responses

At the end of the story, Lily has done everything within her power to seek forgiveness for the way she treated Snow Flower. Share an action or situation that you later regretted and if applicable, how did you make amends for that mistake?

As a young married person I underestimated and disregarded the effect of not including my mother and “natal family” in my everyday life. I later realized the impact my actions had and regretted the hurt feelings they had caused. Luckily I was able to talk about this and express my apologies before it was too late. I’m very thankful that my relationship was salvaged. No one can ever predict when the opportunity for atonement will be taken away from you due to an untimely death – as Lily discovered. I hope I am never faced with that lesson again.

As a mother, I can’t imagine subjecting my child to anything like foot binding for the sake of societal acceptance. Do you think there are any practices in today’s world that might indicate a similar symbol of female status in our society? What are they?

Women are constantly bombarded with images and messages regarding society’s perception of what the perfect female body should be. This push to be thin, beautiful and large breasted has certainly had a huge influence on girls and women everywhere. Although mothers may not be directly involved in the process – as with the foot binding – it is difficult for them to fight and overcome the harm of society’s influence.